Went to bed at 10:30, present time, 2:41... Another night of not being able to sleep. Maybe I should consider seeing a doctor? My mind is reeling with crap, you'd think that you'd fall asleep after hitting the pillow, but it's the exact opposite. So, I'm gonna make an exception tonight and rant. Life is SO weird eh? At one one point, everything is perfect, everything just falls into place, but something happens to destroy that and it all falls apart... And you just feel like shit. Doesn't that happen so many times that it's a broken record by now and you'd think we'd me immune to it. So, why is this so different? Why am I not getting over it?
So the up and downs of recent weeks... Quit school and thought I found the PERFECT job yet I quit and I'm back at square one. The amount of thinking and effort I put into my decisions, all down the drain... Did some serious damage to my self-confidence, but I resent this hiccup for damaging my confidence... Times like this are very tiring physically and emotionally... Very vulnerable emotionally as well. The internal juggling is becoming a daily ritual. ugh I'm keeping myself grounded by telling myself that even with all these feeling, it won't defeat my intelligence!
Among others are the family issues which are pretty fucked up at the moment, hopefully we'll get some perspective and resolve the situation. Family relationships are so much harder than normal relationships isn't it? With friendships, you could just leave if you wanted to and not see them again. But that idea doesn't fly with families, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's so strange that 3 siblings can have such vast differences in values even if they grew up under the same roof. Communication becomes arduous... Resolutions anyone?
Enough rantings, hard to process thought into words. Will upload recipes and flower of the week soon, in the mean time, I'll add the lyrics to my fav song at the moment.
So the up and downs of recent weeks... Quit school and thought I found the PERFECT job yet I quit and I'm back at square one. The amount of thinking and effort I put into my decisions, all down the drain... Did some serious damage to my self-confidence, but I resent this hiccup for damaging my confidence... Times like this are very tiring physically and emotionally... Very vulnerable emotionally as well. The internal juggling is becoming a daily ritual. ugh I'm keeping myself grounded by telling myself that even with all these feeling, it won't defeat my intelligence!
Among others are the family issues which are pretty fucked up at the moment, hopefully we'll get some perspective and resolve the situation. Family relationships are so much harder than normal relationships isn't it? With friendships, you could just leave if you wanted to and not see them again. But that idea doesn't fly with families, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's so strange that 3 siblings can have such vast differences in values even if they grew up under the same roof. Communication becomes arduous... Resolutions anyone?
Enough rantings, hard to process thought into words. Will upload recipes and flower of the week soon, in the mean time, I'll add the lyrics to my fav song at the moment.
"Defying Gravity"
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!
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